Of course I’ve asked for this. Well, sort of. The book Mike D is referring to is the scoring-chicks manual he mentioned a few minutes ago after I attempted to broach the subject of how life as the Beastie Boys has changed for them now that they’re in their 40s (MCA’s 42, Mike’s 41 and Adam’s 40). Foolish question in hindsight but here’s what I got:

Mike D: So you want to know how we romance a woman? What the keys to success are? I’m actually publishing a book on the topic, because I do know some of the secrets, and I’m gonna unlock those.

MCA: It’s called Mike D’s Secrets to Porn.

Mike D: Yeah, just for the men and women who want to get intimate with that special someone and they just haven’t been able to connect. I’m just enabling—enabling the connect.

Ad Rock: How has life changed for us, sexually? I’m not having any problems. I’m good. I thought, after 40, you never know. But I’m good.

Beastie Boys like Head, the Monkees’ movie. They see it at midnight, whenever it’s shown. Sudden Impact is another big one. Beastie Boys pretty much like any “blacksploitation” movie. All Jerry Lewis movies are a big deal. Beastie Boys do a dance called the Jerry Lewis and their next record will be called The Jerry Lewis.

[Mike D] We still hate each other. We bicker, and fight, we bespite on a daily basis.

Often we’ll be fighting over whether the word bespite is actually a word or not. We do Grecho Roman wrestling to settle disputes, we have the full outfits and everything. I personally where a cup, what you may call a box, to the studio. You have to with these guys around because we do fight, and there’s not always much warning.